hollywood night 364

hollywood isnt always the place to be on a friday night, as was the case last night. so we headed downtown and started anilating beers. as we headed to some lofts with a rooftop hot tub we made fun of each other without remorse. this was not an average night this was set to be a classic. bob and clay were in town for aarons show at the key club tonight and we were having a child like drunken debauchery of a reunion no matter what the consequences. bob got off to an early start by polishing off a 40 of adult malt beverage for lunch that day. i stuck to the coronas. i wasnt as latino as him. so we rolled to the loft that were built in old bank building and shot gunned beers as if we were 14 again. this chic had a rooftop hot tub with a bitchin view so the boys jumped in as we burned some wieners. yes, those hot buns were toasted so we ate a feast of meat and mustard and continued the bafooning. when it came time to wander to some bars or shindigs we lost aaron, his wifey and bob and ended up kareening past a twenty person line at the bar and so for the occasion i pulled out one of the beers in my pocket. i didnt care. 8 dollar guiness or a free leg warmed modelo? i chose the latter. so i made out with so and so and then her coked up friend rambled out some shit about just seeing drew barrymore walk in. in my usual speak before thinking routine i blurted out some bs about how i would kiss drew barrymores feet if i saw her because she shouldnt bein such a dirty stink of a wanna be hipster la schmoozebar. as the words rolled of my numb drunken tongue a red sweatered blonde walked up and then her smile hit me like a ton bricks. yes drew walked by as i happened to talk about kissing her feet, smiled in that heart melting barrymore charismatic honesty and sat down at the table behind me. shit. now i was fucked. id look like a pussy now if i didnt go kiss her feet right? "no beau u r an idiot either way," my concious groaned. i was star struck. yes. it happened finally. and exactly like i knew it would. id seen anne hathaway shoot me a shy smile and flea gave me a wink one night. eve almost got mad when i wolf whistled at the site of her perfect booty. the dude from greys anatomy drunkenly chatted with me. lyndsey lohan got out her benz as i smoked a cigg one night and practically sucked me off with her eyes, stuart (mad tv guy) gave me an awkward attracted look at a bar. i hung out and sang karaoke with bud bundy. i said hi to the other pirate guy (not johnny depp) from those movies only because he caught me staring at his stunning lady of the night some victorias secret model beezy i cant remember her name. this was the topper though, i mean kate moss even walked by the other day with her perfect sunburnt skin and all but it was drew barrymore and that dorky but uber cute smile of hers that struck my chord. i knew it would only happen when it was: A. a female B. an attractive one. C. someone who i wasn't particularlly atracted to and D. someone who looked at me like they wanted to fuck. i mean im not being egotistical or maybe but my dad blessed me with some good jeans and drew looked at me like i was a slice a pizza in the window and she was the starving crack head who hadnt ate in two days. she did. i think i would know this look when its given to me. it has swindled me into to a girls bed a time or two. some of the times for me probably so i just had a place to sleep. for them probaly because they forgot to buy batteries for their vibrator. either way i had to do it. so i was i walking to the bathroom and saw that damn cute face again and figured wtf. so i scoot in next to the emo/hipster looking member of the " super furry animals" she is flirting with and blatantly ask "can i kiss your feet" she is sorta stunned and he is iritated and gives me an ever so english slight elbow nudge as to back off. before i can even smile at my stupidity she quips back, "although i do appreciate the gesture, i dont think its appropriate at this occasion." i say, "well i guess i should shake your hand then?" her right hand held what im guessing was a jack and coke so she offered me her left. i gave her my left with just an everyday average warm squeeze and walked back to my friends. as i told them the story they laughed. not with me. but more at me. i laughed too. but not cause of what i did or the look on my face. but what john and i both knew. how she used the term "at this occasion" he winked at me with just his cheek in that secret guy code chics have no idea about and we both sipped our beers, content with the buzz and the night and the knowledge that if i was in that band instead of the elbowing british hipster that i might be the one going home with drew. and we got high and drunk and rambled the way home to couches and floors and the sunrise over the ghetto known as downtown los angeles...